Ode to authority–


Ode to the fact that seeking truth is seeking authority

Ode to the fact that the truth is liberating

Ode to the highest authority within one’s self, which is the authority of all; ode to the truth that is itself; and that this self is law–

Liberation is accepting the ultimate authority, liberation is being the ultimate authority; truth is nothing more than your intent unskewed by the forms you relate to– Truth is everything, but everything as truth is not in relation of effects, but the formation of intent that everything around you has expressed itself from–  

Ode to the free-will of man, when that will is freed by the authority of the universal will in which not only does our free will exist in, but consists of— Ode to the limits of the axioms we base ourselves on; the dreamer who is dreaming in the groundless ground, knows his axioms to be only what he wishes his axioms to be; and moves until those axioms support him fully in self–

Liberation is authority of self inherent by the authority of god in which our self is, but experiences itself as a part of

It is in this, if you think that god ultimately in his plans wants you to act in accordance with a certain manner; if that manner is not so vast in form that is becomes a formless understanding of the intent that ties it together; if you realize god’s plans and it is not somehow entirely an unending bliss of existence itself. Than anything you think you must act in accordance with, cannot be the highest will to know, because unless you understand your own coming perfection in the perfection of all; you will have to act in a way that is not your own, and denies god’s own creation as imperfect without hope of perfection–

That is, if a god made you and did not make you in absolute perfection, or deceives you into thinking that you yourself cannot be beyond what you are; than obviously we cannot be understanding god, because why would such a thing create something that it itself did not want to create–

If god did not want to create us, than it would be as simple as recognizing that such a god who cannot do what it desires, is not something we would begin to define as a god– If god could not make you absolutely in accordance to his own desires (I say his, but whatever); than god could not be himself–

If your fantasy cannot support you in your highest bliss, and all else in a simultaneous fashion.. That is if it cannot make both you and the one you hate happy; than your fantasy will always remain that, a fantasy– The difference between truth is fantasy is merely the degree of difference in which we experience them as separate; but they are the same, and such a sameness cannot be seen until they are seen as so; which will not be done until the fantasy is capable of understanding itself–

Ode to my inability to love–

Ode to my inability to love you, when I place the forms above my intent—
I get so lost in the matters at hand, that I forget what I even wanted to do; express myself to you—
Ode to my intentions to show you my love, but that I would dissolve our relationship the moment I feel the same love isn’t returned—I forget myself so easily, I forget myself in the things and the things in relation; that I forget my relationship to you when I snapped over dirty dishes—
Ode to fuck the dishes, I love you; and I I meant it, no dishes would change it; as the basis of love I know is not conditional in the conditions of a lovely climate, but an unconditional love who’s engulfing manner brings bliss into the conditions. Because I do not love what you are, I do not love who you think yourself to be, but that as a living being I love you and my intent is to make you all happy; and now where am I in my own intent—do I intend anything for myself?
Ode to the selfless, but with the positive qualities of the selfless so apparent, it is the stigma of the selfish I find unloving—I don’t love others who love me back, I know I am loved by everyone; when you protect your sister, you are loving me. When giving a ride to a friend, you are helping me—you have always shown your intentions towards me when you have ever cared for anyone; but that I have never seen your words match your Actions, or actions means the words; but ode to the choices in front of you not including the choice in your heart—because I know you love me, and you would know I would love you.. if we were able to make choices, not based on where we are at, and what we are running from or towards; or what we think we need to do in order for our true choice to emerge as the chosen; I know who you are when you can’t act as you intended, or the intentions of the act do now shine through the form of expression–
Ode to that spirit I see inside each of us, the one that loves all but can only recognize the one it loves; cannot recognize love at all unconditionally until the conditions allow for the conditioned choices to exist in the conditional form that expresses itself unconditionally. Ode to when you wish to kill me, because you love your brothers whom I threat; ode to that love that is directed at all, but to whom one might make love, and yet to another will cut the other cheek when it is shown.
Ode not to society changing, ode not to revolution, transcendence, realization of, or the finding of truth; ode not to raising vibrations, shifting to the 5th dimension, or even the 13tH figment of my mind in which the light, sound, and meaning of life are revealed—ode not at all to unceasing service to God I commit, or the unimaginable role I have imagined; but ode to her, and that which led me to her, which was her. An ode to me, whom found her and told myself who she was, so that she might do the same of me in her mind; and that with this I can do one thing I could never do as the supreme; and ode not to unity who’s existence does not depend on our recognizing; but ode to the duality, to the relations, to the sexual nature of my own divinity.
Ode not to the one I am, because of everyone else; but that everything else as the one thing I am; allows me to do what I would long for, to have a longing for, and be in the place in which there is something for me to long for, something that I could not give myself.. an that is the Supreme ode to which I would always cast; the ode to relation, the ode to the womb from which I arose; and the deep grave I dig myself at the feet of the heart of every girl I didn’t know how to communicate with. And how, no matter how I feel about myself; unless there is true communion; that my own feelings would never conclude a worthy comprehension of the understanding of myself whom is of such a greater nature, that I would humble myself before misleading of my greatness, but that if any bit of me where humble while any of me was great; I would not ever be able to see my own self.. because a part of me inherently denies another part of me, and so I could never see who I am as both great and humble. You see I need you if I wish to ever understand who I am. Anything other than the mirror of a lover, is the mirror of a man who cannot love who he finds himself to be in any other mirror as much as he tries, because such a mirror cannot treat you any other way than you have treated yourself– No growth comes in the mirror of the empty ground of the abandoned temple in which our body seems to be and where looking past the exterior is something one looking at you would do, but that you could not look at your choices in the context of another’s mind; and that the context of another’s mind is truly how you exist in reflection of everything else.. and you are the one person who is incapable of looking at yourself and finding the value of yourself as you exist within the world; because by pure measurement and comparison, we distort the relationships that truly provide our value, which are those relationships in which the person has reason to value you (not by any category, label, or description; though may be expressed as such) not by those things that give form to you being valued, but that such a person should exist in a world established beyond yourself before one has met; and see value in you and you being in their life, in their mind as it is; without necessarily valuing anything of fiscal of established social value.. but that your mere presence might increase their own expression in the way they live their life–

Your value in relation of comparison, is to compare you to that which you are not; I do not love in this way– Your value is what I see in your company, for whatever reasons, forms, and even sensation of comparisons; that I even if I had based in on superficial comparisons, could not have come to value such comparisons; if I was not the one whom which would be the true finder in value, I could not even come to conclusions– Conclusions, that we might change our value systems; none of these systems give the value, but the choice in which respects by acting in accordance with its belief in its value–

The reflected orbit–


I have become something of an anti-intellectual; to the extent that I have become aware of its limitations in the way that it is used– The intellect is like an eternal stem and rose bud; it is a thing to blossom, but we do not know how to give it proper water or sunlight that it has become shy–

The mind like an atmosphere in which we give rise to the intellectual rose; is as dynamic as any experiential ecosystem– It is an actual living garden, and we do not recognize the garden’s needs– And we cannot recognize the needs, because we have separated the external garden from the internal garden.. We do not treat the whole garden, we treat each garden as separate; and by separating them we ignore the transcendent dynamics that sustains them, and thus provide them with lower quality care because we treat it at a level that does not match all dynamics at play and so doomed to deteriorate as the forces will not be able to carry it out if their paths diverge in expected effect from actual effect– Death is the inability to identify with something transcending the current limits of self, lower quality existence is the inability to identify a transcendent mythology that orientates us to transcendent ecosystem–

The two gardens must be treated as one; but one must see them as the same in order to treat them the same– Is that possible, and how deep do I mean this? I mean that the limitation of the intellect is that by reflecting reality, we are seeing one as two things; this puts the thoughts in our mind in something of a reverse orbit, that requires the model of reality to be with so much complexity that it is capable of sustaining its existence for a greater amount of time in said reverse orbit, creating the complexities of science and religion we know today– The more complex the model, the more circular in reference the model is; the more it obscures the transcendent features, while simultaneously increasingly expressing them in a manner that is lower in quality–

Why? Because if I say that by reflecting reality we put them in something of a reverse orbit; it is so because if the thought, which is made of the same forces it refers to, does not refer to itself in a direct manner– Unless the thought is seen as the same thing it refers to, in order to point somewhere else it must distort its appearance as to not look like itself in order to point to something that isn’t inherently itself– Thus all reflective thought, all intellectual thought in the manner it is used; cannot follow the same path as that which it refers to, and thus governs the mind where no one involved can fully act on their will without appearing discordant with the universe–

However, what exactly makes all this anti-intellectual; am I not just espousing philosophy?
The intellect as it blooms, is not the same discerning faculty we have treated it; it is an expressive one– Each time you identify a thought as the force itself, you will come to find your own will in a greater context; it is not a matter of the forces in front of us being lower or higher, this too is one garden– It is a matter of directly understanding the situation through non-discriminatory faculties, because the will of the forces in their coherent state is the same will you find yourself with in reverse orbit; and so, to recognize the thoughts as referring to themselves is to directly understand your own will in alignment with the forces that make up your existence; and thus allow one’s own narrative to be directly gifted from the whole of creation, allowing one an expressive intellect that need not act as one and can remain in the reflective state with a narrative that supports the identity in its cosmic intentions, while simultaneously allowing sense of self to be more fluid as to whether you experience using powers as an extension of yourself or by the grace of god in alignment–

On merging–


As what is known as the third eye opens, progressively the nature of unity arises within the mind in a series of seemingly incompatible formations; The shapes, energy, sensations, it increasingly raises the awareness of the mind not being separate from all else—At first many of these things do not come in a very coherent fashion as you are understanding these sensations from the old paradigm; where the only real awareness of the higher nature is from the hearsay of others—And you know I was so foolish to think I was intelligent, and place the matter of intelligence as one of the highest values; but on this path, if you should treat it, such a notion will inevitably be shattered.. And somehow you will recognize the stupidity of such a notion, while simultaneously recognizing there is not stupidity–

Our common sense here, is hugely distorted compared to the purity of the higher notions of life—So what are the higher notions?

Visuals in the mind; When you think this inward notion, affect the way you can work with reality—Just as to, thinking outwardly exerts its own characteristics; however, if you are thinking that these two are separate, you are operating in a manner, which distorts your true will/nature/character/ spirit— For every choice you make between two or more different methods of being, looking closely will reveal that these are two different models that have not been reconciled—For every choice you see, you hide the true nature of self; because if you cannot see the reconciled condition, you cannot see that road you would take whose characteristics are an extension of one’s own–  As long as you are stuck in the distorted conditions of our lower nature, which are unable to act in accordance among themselves as long as they do not recognize their own nature (the higher notion), and though this discord does bring about suffering, it is also the root of our sense of limitation—The inability to relate to ourselves in full context (the mysteries), is the inability to unify the multiplicity in its higher state—

Note: though the higher state has oneness, those higher notions are within multiplicity itself—Those things already perfected (and this extends to us in a way not often recognized), and exist in multiplicity in this perfected state—Which means, this is accessible to us at this level because it is the same thing–

The nature of the third eye, is becoming aware of the elementals around you—While this takes many unique forms; the expansion is that of first becoming aware of energy around you in a room or object, as slowly your awareness becomes more aware of itself in a more pervasive manner; the higher initiations are taken or chakras get activated–

The elementals, are all the forces of nature perceived from the perspective we are at—The nature of individual karma, is to become aware of these forces in a more living and connected manner; One becomes so aware of patterns, that to express one’s self is more easily done even around unfamiliar patterns—The elementals are all of manifested reality as we see it—However, simultaneously as always; the lower forces are also the higher forces; The diva aspect of evolution, are the same elementals that make everything up–

Clearing one’s own karma, simply puts oneself in a neutral like state; we come upon the dharma— Recognizing one’s self as everything in a lower manner; one comes upon the laws that govern the self once someone is somewhat illuminated, something that though one can see all in unity, still comes across a limitation in expression–

Allow me to clear up a bit how I use these words karma and dharma, I mean this from a perspective that it is often not taught from; because it was not yet relevant to the student–
Karma is like getting a new computer when they just hit the consumer market; you learn how to operate the machine– Later, 10 years or so; you finally get a new one and things have radically changed, so you learn it again almost from the beginning, something of the same nature– Fast forward; and this occurs on a frequent basis, multiple computers in the home of different OS’s, cell phones, increasing use of technology in the public world– By this time, if one is not turned off; everything becomes rather inherent, the ability to understand the logic of their existence as it comes– To use such a machine to express yourself goes from learning the latest technological advances to swimming in a sea of fluid interfaces of varying quality and structures, and we have our inner guidance to do what we so wish relative to the perspective it is experienced– But suddenly, we come across a wall– Though we are fully capable of using technology as it develops to express ourselves; we cannot express ourselves further than the technology allows (as a consumer at least, general like)– This is dharma, dharma is the governing order when one has unified the fragmented perspectives within one’s self for the most part; and still finds that he is subject to forces that appear higher than himself– Dharma, while being more complex than simply this; dharma is the karma of all else, or your cosmic karma– It is the limitation of the universe to express itself in its highest expression, because this is so true for the individuals that make up this greater being– Why does it not just tell itself in a more clearer fashion?  Because this is so true for the higher being that makes up the individual–


The diva evolution is vital to the greater illumination; this is the point where one is no longer reconciling the differences within one’s own vision—We begin reconciling higher perspectives that engulf us; these perspectives are cosmic, understanding creation becomes more intimate–  The nature of such an experience includes such an array of experience in an increasingly constant manner that it becomes harder to bring into this world an expression that describes it without becoming distorted— As any model is inherently limited as it defines, when that which creates it is not limited (but not so limited as to not limit)– If one has ever heard of a Solar Body vs a lunar body; the major issue of the ability for the lunar body to understand the solar body, is in that the lunar body thinks of this as philosophical concepts and uses logic with limiting axioms– So one thinks the person, is speaking from the same place they are speaking; the lunar body reflects the light, and that is their hope and is the hope of all who value knowledge or life at any level– The solar body emanates it, though it may come through words heard before; though it might be an idea that you are familiar with, this is original, this is the source of the information– This arrangement of words, intentions, and meaning; arises in an order of distortion best suited for the time and the progress of the divine plan, just like the nature of the solar bodies distortion is that of perspective; the nature of such an order I am speaking of, is not absolute– The nature of our situation here is not eternal, it will evolve in ways in which we cannot speak of these things as eternal; the governing factors are capable of changing and doing so in what we would perceive as an intelligent manner–

Back to divas–
Let us say you are given a paper with 1,000 dots– and given a pen you are asked to connect them in any fashion you wish; this is a snapshot of your perception– The line is you, and you as well as all the other dots constitute the perspective of the moment– These are the elementals, they are with you all the time; the diva’s as well as the other realities which have no means of communication with our own at this time– Are all the other ways the dots could have connected simultaneously– As you connect the dots, you move all other relationships in existence; or you move with it–  The order of form in front of you contains everything, I am right in front of you; however the relationships that constitute myself, come into a formation that you do not recognize as in front of you– As you walk off into the distance, that disappearing trail behind you is not ceasing to exist; the relationships that make it up are not coming apart– you are simply changing your relationship with it, and thus it changes form–

If we wish to make great strides in magick, we must understand the unmanifested is in the manifested– That there are other unrecognized patterns occurring in front of us, in a way that we do not understand our relationship with them in order to bring them into manifestation– So yes at this point I am touching on the basis of interdimensional travel–

The issue however is; is that the dimensions we learn about or the constructs we design in which to interact with reality is inherently limited– This is the void or veil, we reach a point in which how the universe works where either more questions need to be answered, or the concept dies out from degrading into a new a paradigm–

So quite specifically, it is that we are dealing with elementals in front of us; the elementals are the divas in order that is unrecognizable in our condition– That is to say, dealing with astral projection or any such matter; is to begin understand relationships in front of you– This is the fragmented nature commonly thought of as the third eye–

It is to say that all spiritual dimensions are in your perception; everything that can be discussed or exist is in your sight– We are never talking about anything that is not in front of us and that we are not in relation with– Thus, any order of nature spoken about; that is not in front of the seeker, is a representation of relationships; relationships we always have in our experience, but that operates in such a manner that to think of it in form, would make it sound separate from the experience now–

The diva’s, use the guise of knowledge to hide the nature of the deeper revelations it leads to–
And it is that the distortion of revelation received in symbolic terms that represents to us an internal working of the universe, when in actuality it is a relationship capable of infinitely expanding itself in ways that express its nature increasingly within form– That is the form, is an expression of a relationship; the nature of this process is to refine your ability to think in terms of relation– So that, when it is revealed the true limitations of our being which is limitless; causes one to see the truth behind thinking in terms of cause and effect as limited; that we may arise to a new sense of being– Because it is at this point where clarity begins to shine, which is the ability to “bring down the light” by coming into increasing recognition of your own purpose in the cosmic context, which allows you to align with the original intentions of consciousness and work in a manner that reflects spirit in its most noble notions– By becoming increasingly self referential, by acting in accordance to the greater context.. We bring in something beyond intellect and something, that as of now earth has little real dealing with; and that is direct meaning beyond circular reference– A thing so aligned with itself and its purpose, that anything that approaches it will understand its relationship with it inherently and be able to act in harmony with it–

Such meaning could be considered a multifaceted jewel; one that if potent enough, if brought in with great light in clarity; the relationship could be so well understood, that one could walk through walls you can’t see in relation to it–

She was all so dead–


He was a walk­ing flaw; fondling fatal delu­sions hold­ing diluted pas­sion for a world that lost its magic; “I don’t believe in ghosts.” he would rant to his dead cat that decom­posed so he could get over it– “That is love.” Oh he knew, and he believed in ghosts; he had seen one in the mir­ror– “I lis­tened, I lis­tened! Why would you lead me down a path of vac­u­ous exis­tence. Why does your per­fidy per­fectly worsen me with every breath, here’s your fuck­ing milk!” He doesn’t seem to ever notice the smell of spoiled mem­o­ries; The cat doesn’t come–

“The shal­low squan­der, the lonely play dead in a squalid womb. More fuck­ing milk? Where are you shit­ting, the kitty lit­ter has been empty for months.” His cat is in fact dead, and does not man­i­fest itself again as it was the final form; Like rings of smoke turn­ing vel­vet neon echo­ing through a mind; the grand final form left his mind, The smoke had taken over

His mind was slowly emp­ty­ing, but thought fought and never fal­tered; “It’s like– –a bright light; Or just empti­ness has befallen me– I am sur­rounded by limbo– and the ring is get­ting more con­stant.” He meant ring, and ring was cor­rect; but he was think­ing of dia­monds, he was trapped in the glis­ten and couldn’t lis­ten to the ring; His thoughts were really begin­ning to slow, the glow beyond didn’t cover the shad­ows– “The… Shad­ows?” While this was his only thought, he still knew that he was alone; At least if he pre­tended there was a cat, that fact didn’t seem true; but now he really wasn’t alone and the ring­ing was becom­ing paralyzing–

He no longer felt lonely; he felt invaded, he needed space; the shad­ows were mak­ing moves way to fast– He couldn’t even get com­mit­ted to a new cat– “Fuck my cat is dead.. I swore it had at least six lives left! Shit, now what?” His daze lifted like vapor of bub­bling springs; his body felt a warm pres­ence; The shiv­er­ing shad­ows shak­ing in shriek like move­ment had screamed into evap­o­ra­tion– “That ring..” It was com­ing back to him, he looked for the ring; The phone had rung for hours– Pas­sion was call­ing him, he was now ready to answer; He eagerly picked up the phone as if it would sud­denly stop now–

As he pro­claimed his love into a receiver, a speaker not far from it echoed his heart; only her voice reminded him of every con­ceiv­able place in the uni­verse; Only her love reminded him that he found all these places beautiful–

In light of the shadows–


 That which is in between the whole; that is, the knowledge behind many man’s motive to seek, yet, behind all mans motives. The simple small of the complex big, is not “it” alone–

To see between, you must first stop seeing it– That is you have been so focused on it, you have forgotten the rest–

    So we move our focus to not what material is, but what it is in relation to the other that defines it as so; (Notice how we seem to increase the focal point by the way in which we treat our peripheral in relation).

    Once we see the river and its flow; the true form of water can be experienced–

Yet we as patterns like our cycles good or bad, and we let awe rule the ah; cuz awe likes to distract the ah; so what is manipulative in our freewill is really just a friendly crush or more so if it seems to popup in frequency–

     So if you watch the river’s dance of patterns or much more in the reality of it; you may forget what the river isswim and your head will explode, as not only did you forget the aspect of the parts or divisions, borders, form; you must also deal with an interaction so tangible that you melt away into the river because you had to be smacked down into existence to remember you were always a part of it

    However, WE have an arrow of time; that if we forget what an arrow means, seems to persist as a meme in our mind. A result of it existing, a fractal one way tradition that has weaved itself into everything except for those whom weave themselves and still they must dance with it

Yet only because the idea of it persists, some would have an entirely different concept, but if they deny it exists they will still function in some way that implies that it does. They see the symptoms of infection, which appear as people who see time and not the symptoms of infection– And as long as Bill is late to work, and keeps urgently reminding you of this thing-less thing, at work in play, just in time to remind you of its importance to someone other than your decision to not stress over it.

    Suddenly the rivers constructing around you, and unless you see the water forming patterns; you would not see what patterns you swim amongst as– Yet, unless you knew the nature of the river, that is the context of what is going on, and why itself is going about it within greater patterns; patterns, or groups; that persist in frequency the more they are attracted to each other, that is the more the other patterns like it amongst their patterns, as well as the pattern itself whom may love the other parts of the pattern, but may not understand WHY this is so– See you are so deeply in love; That you hold hands with the unknown– That is if you wish to hold onto something, without the effect of stagnation, you must take it with you. Not the form but the patterns essence that has dictated the form–

    So now I have said something. I’ve thought, in love, the moment you understand them, you have an illusory formYou’ve stopped navigating each other, they are already goneand since you are in a state of having come to grips with it, the class is over and unless you let go; the illusion will rot in front of you for closure, or you could apply all you know and maintain the illusion; perhaps watch yourself rot

   This is the arrow; It is a wave amongst many waves, its not one way, but the way you see it. It goes all ways. You are one of these ways

    The pilot comes on and says you can expect a linear experience that for your enjoyment can understand, however you might find that the passengers stories don’t line up with yours, in time, in subject, sequence, redundancies, and over all idea of why there’s a pilot with so little context

    So here we are; All evil is love; As all love needs and offers is corruption, I say that in the sense that, instead there is this feeling of light navigating the dark in terms of companionship in defeating daily hardship as it comes. That this is a symptom of the rotting illusion, you are in a battle against the part of you that knows this form is over, because it is the part that you know and love; but now are you so materialistic that you would hold onto form, if perhaps it was only to come back in a new form? Could this be? And that if you heard me, fastly reject it!

    Now this is suspicious, because NO! Certain forms or titles were special, distinct, and so vastly different– To make all of them the same, kills them as you know before meeting its qualities– Now reject it, because this means that something has been working real hard to make you happy while tormented with the deception it must put on so it can remain. Every girl, one goddess whom has dedicated an aspect of herself to you. Love creates a corruption, that is a shift in a way, a fracture of perception, a dent in the light– Love is corruption, and as long as this happens outside of your operating awareness, it seems good and of the optimal function– You both will be the light whom dances with the dark; AND the ability to control your reality in a way that will forever surprise in formation

    This though is a myth, or its never happened– Because we are infected, the technology can be as simple as an idea of one word– One word or idea can create every clock and is merely an expression of it– That is the form of mystery– Infect the populous with the idea of time; Once you see that the clocks were built for the idea of time itself; it’s merely an expression, that is its control spawned out of itself, it had technology unfold for it, truly the most powerful forms are the organic patterns emerged purely out of the conformity of its will.

   So what the fuck!?  Well… Corruption is a natural occurrence; when it happens the effects they produce are for generally a higher organism of awareness– Such as a town noticing it’s politicians are corrupted in desired function, and the town as an organism deals with it

If a corruption takes place within ones self. That is, you have operated on a thought or belief that separates you from your shadows, it, the corruption itself, that you committed now goes into the shadows and the shadows are left to feed on the only aspect of you they are left withIF say your counter part is the one whom forms the corruption..

   You are a deception, but a rather definable one in the way you paint yourself as a deception. But while the symptoms of it occur here, and so it sounds like I am talking about what we are, but I have not said we are a shadow; as it sounds subjective, but tis not from the one whom sees us that way. But now this disconnected corruption from the shadows we cast cause us to feed on this mentality–

   If corruption of the corruption takes place, a very serious lesson is to be learned, or a serious condition to grow through appears. Yet people aren’t learning this lesson, and so a global corruption occurs; as this spreads would it not make sense that conspiracy theorieswent from suspect to seeming fact of something lurking within.


These words were scribbled in an odd place upon the paper I wrote them in, I have my suspicions on where they go; but I for the life of me do not know what I meant at the time; so I give them as puzzle pieces–

“As an illusion of matter, as a living deception.”

“You will find that.”

“So what? Aren’t we all?”

How to speak–


If you do not know something, you must speak with something to come to know it– If you do not know god, you must speak to god to come to know it– If you speak to god and you do not come to know god, then you must learn how to speak– If you do not know how to speak, you must learn how to listen– If you learn how to listen, you will come to know how to speak– If you speak and others do not listen, then you have not learned how to speak– If you think speaking is one thing, and listening is another; then you have not yet heard yourself– If you think that listening is not speaking, you have not yet spoken– If you think silence over noise, is preferable; you have not made noise silent– If you think that noise over silence is preferable; then you have not heard silence in noise–

To speak is to align, to align is to commune– To commune is to know; and to know is to learn– You are always speaking, what are you saying and what is being heard?

Mother Tongue–


There are many ancient myths about a universal language that was once common to all of us; and that at some point there was a “confusion of tongues” in which our languages fragmented, and in such so did the societies and nations of our land—

Why would I point out such a thing? Because in Academia as well as other circles, there has been a desire for an established basis for communication— Prescriptive grammar is one aspect of this, however there has always been desire for a more universal language; a language that would leave no room for miscommunication of interpretation— And such an idea has implications for every facet of our existence; however why has one not been completed or accepted?

This I think has to do with our misunderstanding of how meaning is conveyed, which is not words; words simply recall the meaning we come to associate with them— And in this sense, none of us are born in a truly common context for us to associate the same meanings with the same things; that is, we still have the issue of interpretation— Thus to even build a common language requires a common paradigm.. and to have a common paradigm, one must see the world in the same way— Thus the very thing a universal language wishes to solve, is the very thing that keeps a universal language from being able to solve it—

In this, I believe the common mother tongue or divine language that use to unite us all was only an expression of a common story that we use to all see as truth— That is, we had a uniting paradigm or story already, and this allowed us to express ourselves with meaning that was more directly understood rather then leaving so much room for interpretation; and in this way it was also an alignment, an order of reality itself; and since this order was fragmented, so was our communication, so was our personal narrative, and so was our ability to get along—

This has become a power struggle in many ways, all attempts to establish order fail to meet the needs of all; because they fail to provide a story that satisfies all perspectives and thus leads to enforcement and conflict of interests—

It is in this, that I say the description of a universal common language was only because we were aware of a common origin; when we lost sight of this common origin, we fractured off; and even our attempts to describe this common origin for those whom remember it or find it, cannot bring it back in such a way that unites us; but brings us further polarized outlooks and confusion— Reinforcing the fracture between us, as our personal reality seems more and more real; as we find people whom have a common outlook and further reinforce this, yet does not transcend but a small group; and even further experiences reoccurring fracturing within all groups of common outlooks—

Shit happens–


A man who was convinced there was something to find more than science decided to find the truth—

Find jesus he was told; and he read the bible, talked to people, did the rituals, and asked where is god? Look inside he was told; so he  closed his eyes and thought for weeks, and asked who am I?  He was given the most curious mushrooms and found himself in a serious fright from the strangest images, and said how do I try looking side again? Silence your mind he was told, and so he spent the longest time practicing doing so, and though he gave it up, picked it up, gave it up, and yet again because he so desired to find an answer closed his eyes, noticed his breath, and it all went away— I don’t exist, and this was not the answer he wanted to find; and all his other answers for all his other things became damned and burned away from his attention— I am nothing said the nihilist, this is the ultimate— And the gloom man questioned it all, and the gloom man dance the dance with the heart he thought was his— And though he searched again for nothing, as the memory faded and his mass of cold dead answers had once again told him what was what, he asked how am I nothing? And instead of silencing his mind, he came across a question that brought another question and repeatedly this occurred much to his astonishment he went faster than he could understand it and it spun into a ball of luminous light and he saw his thoughts from another angle and he expanded to the biggest smallest thing; he was everything! HE WAS EVERYTHING! AND HOW DID HE NOT SEE IT BEFORE—

And he found the light! He thought the throne was empty, but he was in the throne!!!  And he joined a hip church, and suddenly understood the scripture, and it was all true! You know, if you interpret it this way it fits he told them, and he discussed it with everyone; and he was happy, he found an answer! and then suddenly in front of him laid a vast array of ideas to explain everything in between, and he theorized and theorized, and told people the truth, and to look inside to see for yourselves— And that this is the suppressed knowledge, direct experience that they don’t want you to know—

And because the bible was not clear enough, and because he didn’t trust the cover up— Have you seen this site he was asked; and the symbols appeared, and the other religions appeared, and the light workers appeared, and the shamans appeared, and a vast array of some vague thing occurring throughout history somehow being focused on now appeared, and the densities appeared; and the realization he met entities on mushrooms appeared; and the languages appeared, and paradigm shifts appeared— Wake up he would say and warn his friends about the N.W.O. The chemtrails, the fema camps— The illuminati—

He had remembered, though he was everything he did not think everything was good; and now he knew he was on a mission to wake this world up, to tell people about themselves, not because he had the truth, but because this is serious; yes we are immortal, yes we have the support of aliens and beings of light— But we also have the dark brotherhood, the aliens who either sold us weapons or the government who stole alien technology to create a false flag alien invasion— His mundane world had become a mythological Smorgasbord of fantastic excitement— 

He was absolutely clear on what was going on— but then.. 

Hello she said— 

And having two voices in his mind was going to make things confusing; and he knew it was not him— But he knew of the things going on and openly talked to her— He asked who she was, and she hinted at the stars; and she was so excited to talk to him, and cautiously he asked which stars; and sirius was mentioned and he was relieved because all the channeling made this sound safe.. these were truly enlightened intelligent beings— 

And oh she was lovely, and oh she was intelligent; and she began showing him things about himself, and he began remembering we are all one— And he asked who she really was, and she responded in the most kind way of how she was him— And he realized he developed a mental illness— 

And he began reading on demons, he began trying to explain things with a closer eye, but she would still talk to him; and he would call out his sovereign status and that he didn’t want to talk, and she would laugh; and he would try to banish her, exorcise her, break contracts with her, and while he wasn’t yet totally frightened, but he did not know quite what he was dealing with and got a bit too over his head— 

And she asked do you want to know what’s magick; and he would catch himself interested, and this girl is far too potent he couldn’t avoid talking to her— So he would meditate, clear his mind, read further on this situation; What was he to do—  But as it so happened, he noticed the contradictions in what he was reading— The more he talked to her, the more she showed him; the more what people were saying just didn’t make sense— This stupid movement is so vague he said— But now, he was trapped— 

The things that were opposing began to merge; the things that were this became that; and that became this, and this that, that this; and he became her, and she became him, and they became each other, and in the most orgasmic fashion he felt a union and knew she was no girl from the stars— But that she followed him from the void, and watch him in the light— And that she had been with him his entire life, proved it to him in many different ways; he was astonished, because she was from sirius, she did follow him from the void, she had been waiting for him and was so glad he finally came to be— And he suddenly knew what everything is now; time was not linear, he just got married without realizing it in the most deepest and sacred fashion; with a being who came from the stars, which was no different than his mind— Because the stars were inside, and his mind was outside— 

And everything was this and that, and that and this; and he saw it in every combination sometimes simultaneously sometimes expanded— But now he was the fool, who is the fool who looks inside when you do not turn your eyes around—  

llll And at another point in time, he would have an aspect of his soul come into his entire vision with his eyes wide open; the gem the most brilliant amber, he would see a part of his destiny, and that destiny would be the guiding light///

And he was such a fool, because you don’t need to look inside, the same thing is there when your eyes are closed— And he felt the sea of it all in his view, and he heard children in china from the far left deep corner, and noticed his uncle who took care of him when he was little, doing well in a new life he had never met; and though a part of himself was in all this and this was the heavier focus of everything, the only thing equal was her, and she showed him all the forms going on; and it was here in his experience— 

And, he laughed at the world; and thought it funny when he saw what was going on, because then he simply saw it all at once; instead of here and there and things in between, he saw the biggest as the smallest, the smallest as the biggest, and you would not believe the smallest of small grew bigger and the biggest of big shrunk smaller, and comparison only works when you have something to measure against! 

And then he left to things he could not speak of; 

And learned things he could not dream of;

and saw what will happen; 

and he saw how beautiful every single fucking thing is, and how all will come to see it as well— 

And he still doesn’t know a fucking thing— 

Ode to the–


Ode to the fantasies I dare not imagine;
The ultimate of desires, that I can barely caress—
The most damned of taboos;
For she is a ghost, and I am of flesh—

Ode to the thoughts that wander around her;
The only dress, that I dare not denude—
For the only way to acknowledge her;
Is not in her truth, but in her allude—

Ode to Sophia, to Isis, to Giaa;
The one of many, and the many of nom de guerre—
For she who is mine, might be she who is yours;
But mine is mine, in my motley affair—

Ode to the one for whom I belong;
Her hug my womb, her womb my odyssey—
And together we disembroil the umbilical;
For our harmony is our sovereignty—

Ode to the mom, of my highest myth;
My sister, my daughter, my one revered flame—
The stars, the moon, the earth;
the dancing embers, a chandelier dame—

Ode to the Axis Mundi, my worldly phallus;
The mighty penetration that substantiates my virility—
And the affection is so hungers for;
To soothe the state of my inability—

Ode to the limits of the infinite;
The edges that let me prowl her extravagant bust—
The definite and the imminent;
The uninhibited howl of the animist tuft—

Ode to the voice that has called my name;
The one I was given, like everything with which I am acquainted—
Though still hard to believe, to accept, to have absolute faith;
It is the way, it is the road, it is the path that I find sacred—