unsloppin it–

Remembering how to die–

Dying consciously has been one thing. Remember how to die has been another. I remember how to return to light, how we are together, who I am in essence and more so; why I would even come back from the light.

It is not a matter of having achieved illumination, that such things are of importance to me; but that I would be woken up by a lover whom just by understanding something her, did I understand what was between us; it is my relationship to reality in a very human like sense of meaning of relationship, but that one remains in transcendent forms that appear to us as symbols and is experienced by them in a parallel narrative that is entirely different in form–

I don’t say such things from the perspective of oh I read a book and now have a conclusion and belief. But that I by virtue of just being myself, could observe and wake up, as long as I had something that would suggest itself as something of a greater context for me to see the same world in. And it is one thing to deny that which you do not see, but that denial of your own vision is something of a painful transformation, as pain is the very form of which arises between things that don’t recognize each other, and such the only way to heal is to be recognized, not in form but in the heart that governs the form that is their own pain, no one who has not suffered can know existence, because existence is the very lie we created, but with pain did we make this life sincere, with pain we understood the truth of our situation with out knowing it’s true context. That the generation of sincere life meant to place them in the truth of creation as how all the parts created the whole and how the whole created the parts.

It is two extreme forms that cannot appear beautiful to all, unless it is approached by itself that can understand it, and of it as a self wants to be understood. It is backwards upon forwards and the agreements between them, it is the expansion of ourselves and the consequences of that expansion as a contraction of movement within the ratios that make them appear quantifiable the expansion.

And by understanding the structure of creation, on which our own sincerity is deeply found; can we act more awake and in accordance with the reality of our situation; and thus allowing us to begin making choices from the heart on a level of existence that is not influenced by the context of our situation as a limited being, and in so the nature of the cause of the limits. Not the veil itself, but the movement of the veil. And through the veil becoming conscious of itself, better wielding the forms that will allow for joy as the healing of that pain which is the transmutation of its form into a higher quality understanding. Because just like our understandings of each other create the veil or form of our relationship we experience. So to is all form that arises, and all form rises according to the adjustment in differences so that something that does not understand itself, can still understand itself. Pain is the lower quality expression of the misunderstandings between us. It is when we part in understanding that we identify as a part. Form is a voice that we forgot spoke, that it speaks to us the best it can in its truth and ability.

The veils are unknown because the veils are not awake within themselves to know they are veiling. Like a man who must speak his truth even if he is unaware that he is misleading. Because we all follow each other in an order that shapes us based on how we follow it. It is tyrannical in will, but that it wills the choices in our hearts, and I doth think the choice is freedom. And so rooted in freedom is the way of love, and love is the way of the will, the will to love; and the freedom to choose how we express that love which is greater in expression the more is understood, because as it is understood it can better express the understanding to be understood and understand itself better to express itself better to further understand itself.

The situation– (Written on forum)

I would suggest that, yes everything is our choice to experience; that we must not forget that everything is a part of our choice– It is not our narrative that makes these decisions, but that it is our choice to experience narrative which gives color to experience beyond the experience itself– To think anything is out of your control, is to misunderstand the power of what you are experiencing now– It is simply that we chose to experience somethings out of our control, and this is an agreement to experience ourselves as separate beings–

That is we have given ourselves a sphere of consciousness in which we can begin designing our narrative, but that our narrative exists within a collective one.. and it is not a matter of aligning your narrative to the personal and immediate desires which are based on falsehoods, but the collective will and intent which means your desires within that intent is 1. part of your original desire and so greater, to the extent that you would fear desiring such a thing for yourself. 2. your desire of such proportions or ratio is absolutely supported by the whole of which you are and are a part of in experience–


At the level of realization I speak of, there are revelations that have personal consequences, as well as consequences upon the narrative at large– Since you speak from personal consequences of intermingling separation, which is a gift and a curse; let me say that there is a collective narrative that will have far more reaching consequences than any individual narrative at play, and that which will guide every personal narrative if so one should choose to follow the story we are all experiencing, which allows for every personal story to reach its own greater height–

I know that in a certain sense, you feel like mankind is alone in this endeavor of ours, but that this process is indeed universal; and that there are illuminated members of society (far and distant from each other with purpose) working towards the original intent or impulse of our collective decision which in spirit is specific, but in form is liberation itself–

And that I would point to you to meditate on.. is not the intent of your own choices to experience something a certain way, but why we would choose to experience such a sorrowful state as this, and what great vitality it would have to the most glorious fruit ahead in which we shall all partake without exclusion, but to which all partaking will appear to be an individual conclusion in the collective result– Think about the intentions behind that which you did not intend, and reconcile them into your own spirit–

However, not everyone is meant to reach the levels I speak of; not everyone desires to truly, and this is quite fine.. but as a result, something between these two conflicting desires must arise that give a greater result than either of the two desires alone– Thus that ultimate is that desire of every individual in the way that allows for all desire to be met, and surpasses the limitation of the individual desire to only allow one aspect of the desire to be met–

We are dealing with far more fantastical things than you treat it, and without proper catalysts and stimulation; beyond your own ability to treat such fantasy seriously–

The echo of self–

There is a fire inside me, that like a block of cheese through a grater, must arise through the aspects of myself that shape it, and to feel who I am, I must take those pieces and shape them upon themselves so that my own ego is amplified and that inspiration that was me, becomes inspiring in its purity of self by resonating with exactly who I am.

I am a fire that burns itself, an everlasting oil; and it is not because who I am is so full of myself, but that who I am cares so deeply for the liberation and love of all sentient being that to witness my own passion is to remind of that same sentiment. And that the most powerful thing I can do is shape that sentiment as an artist as I vibrate my own being in continual blossom in greater refinement and intensity. Until I speak words that move the mountains I know as part of myself.

Not a word I say refers to anything but who I am, not a word I mean means anything more than my own meaning. And not an aspect of me could exist without the relationship to all that exists which defines me as so. In that sense, I am as conscious of being everything else as I am conscious of being what all else makes me as. And so, there is nothing greater I could become than increasingly myself and allow that same world, that makes me so, to arrive to that very same destiny.


When the heart beat of the earth becomes your own, and as the earth looks upon the sun; and finds its heart beat its own, and the sun looks upon Sirius and knows it’s heart beat as a twin, and these twins heart beats look upon the cosmos and see the heart beating between them; such myth becomes like ones garment and cloak, both hidden and exposed. Both with my armor and extremely vulnerable, and as such between all extremes do I emerge myself upon the gateways of the heart. I speak beyond the language of the birds, for the birds flock in my voice, and my voice screams through my veins.

And know thyself becomes knowing my choice in all eternity, and why I would choose such a thing as me to be.


I will point to your fears, I will contradict what you say while reaffirming it— I will discuss a new way, I will act a new way indifferent from the way I have ever acted— I will tell you something you have always known, and you will be afraid to know it— I will paint the horrors upon the wall, and come through like a wrecking ball; I will go the way your heart desires, I will go the way you mind screams out against—

I will move like a dream, I will break your rationality into the irrational; I will move my feet upon grounds you do not see, and I will make sense— I will be the madman you fear.. I will make sense all the way to the point I lose you.. I will drift higher in the imagination than you are capable of dwelling.. I will tell you to dwell there! And you will have no faith, and I will move on and you will see where I dwell—

I am star who’s light is invisible and ever reaching; you will be fear holding onto something you do not believe is there to be held onto— I am walking a new way upon this earth, I am creating a new way upon the narrative— I am everything you should no be, I am every taboo that is irresistible and resisted! I am not even a paradox, I am plainly blunt upon the mundane—

I will not bow to your way; you need not bow to mine— But you will deal with me, I will not remain in silence.. My voice has been a canvas for which you have danced upon, but now I begin to speak; and you will fall into the valleys of my own breath— I am not deep, I am a shallow puddle of desire; a higher place of birth.. I was not submerged in the deep waters, I emerged from the deep to appreciate the surface—

I will tell you a story, one that makes your heart beat; and yet you will be afraid to live as the being I make us out to be— This so is the rhythm— I will tell you who I am, and you will forget so I may tell you once again who I am and it shall not appear the same— I am a living dance in your mind, I dance in the heart of all— Fear what I have to tell you, and face what you will; but I will come upon you, you do not have to bow, but the fact is I exist, and I am—

As I become that light you seek–

The harmony of the spheres in realization, is the precise gateway between sound and vision, as well as mind and body in effect–
It is to recognize your vision to be the same thing you are hearing, and hearing to be the same thing you are seeing; and that the other senses are merely refined ratios in harmony twisted upon the ratio of orbital passage ways of all celestial being.

It is not only to realize your perception as living music, but to realize yourself as part of the song, and to see exactly what note you play, which can be shifted upon its string and expanded in resonance.

As a cross between mind and body, it is specifically the realization of one’s own soul in shape, after realization of its primordial emptiness; in that when you listen to your own soul, when you come upon a range greater than yourself in perception, it must begin to reoccur within ones self as a manifestation of thought. It is in a sense manifesting the perfect mirror within oneself, but capable of resonating within and without allowing one to shatter the mirror by recursion of reflection and allowing the invisible light of perception to glow beyond the borders of division and into the coherent vision of a singularity. By creating more light to shine upon than there is to be shined upon, bringing in a greater dance that extends beyond the sense of self.


The state of unconditional love, or immense feeling of joy and bliss is your own light reflected in yourself— However, the potency of such a light is actually very dim, a light generated by thousands of buddhas who sustain lesser nirvana (or the light of the central sun (or hidden sun) grounded in the astral plane) so that the Bodhisattva’s (in the physical plane) which move beyond to the greater nirvana and reflect it into manifested reality allowing nirvana itself to manifest in increasing quality upon our mutual reality—

This love has little meaning beyond the one whom experiences it, until that person is capable of bringing even the tiniest bit of feeling to another; and turning it into a mutual feeling— When feelings become mutual, emotions turn into the subtle light of meaning, which through synchronicity allows to people to understand the same experience in the same way, yet in different forms of perspective.. allowing each one to act in unison according to a mutual star, but allowing each one to act out their individual orbit around the mutual sun, light, or emanation which guides them by honestly choosing their own choices in response to their heart in light of the emotion—

What is the one?

Laid down before us, was many of myths and legends; In every land a prophecy both opposing all others as well as in accordance– For every prophecy came with I am, and that I am alone; and yet that I am, and I am alone was said upon unto every nation and circle large and small– And from I am, and I am alone; I alone will become, and will be– And this the foundation of the pyramid was set in stone, and the deluge set upon it–

Sir francis bacon whom adorned with a supernova; laid down the final law of the land and spell to be cast; the great equilibrium of the scientific method, which allowed us to move past the barrier of babylon’s lone tower; and lean all views upon each other– Thus placing all prophecy to the flame, burning the excrement and keeping the pure–

This pyramid of sustained ideology, kept in its bloodline the myths of old that found itself relevant every perennial lighting of the torch to cast light upon the worthy and darkness onto the unkempt thousand eyed lotus– Upon which we drew every eye to the great focal point of truth, while generating infinite veils upon which we all only know; the everlasting rose of the rising–

Now, with all that is perfected; we seems worse than ever– Every scientist, occultist, religious, enlightened, methodical, deep one, illuminated one, poet, and artist leads us in different directions upon the same vision and pyramid–

It is the pyramidion which emerges from the pyramid itself, is not at all anything described; but of all ascribed to it– It is not anything we have guessed, but is all that has been guessed about; and it isn’t that anything was wrong, simply adorned to the proper focal point of being–

Like a rainbow must be viewed upon a certain angle in a certain arrangement of atmosphere; so to can only prophecy and science be made truth– And such, only the coming capstone will clarify all matters at hand; so that all moves to position to find light cast upon it from the sun and sun behind the sun! And you wonder of the coming one, whose persistence in thought has remained unto us far longer than any single science, and yet it is a science in it of itself; but that science was and always is a part of the arts–

Now as the greater sun rises, the shadow and light dances upon the church is known as the beast and our savior– The science known as the beast and the way– The hate is known as the beast and the righteous — The loving is known as the beast and the solution–

We are animals coming into divinity– The sun truly dawns upon our time; as now the great singularity is on everyone’s mind; whether seen on the horizon or greatly felt as a desire in our heart– We move into a new age, beyond the age of linear conception and pre-conceived notion– But such notions must only be turned towards the light of all being, and the being of all light– I am alone, is I am together! Because each one that is, is them alone; I am unique, I stand alone as I am, but together WE ARE; and we are not alone!

Way out of Samsara–

The limitation I have experienced upon this planet is that those seeking, have found so much in the infinite multitudes of perspectives and interactions, that just because they have found a great deal insight through one method, that they never use insight to find new method.

So I explain things in terms of knowledge, and those who hear me to whatever degree, find themselves unable to handle it as rapidly as I approach, and that they wish to understand what I convey, or not; that I push, and I push. And that, it is not because I wish them to know all this, or need them to know all this. But that the approach requires leaping through constructs in order to begin revealing that which I truly wish to express– which is beyond knowledge, beyond form; but still everything to do with all knowledge and form that we know.

It is because they wish to understand the way the repeating patterns interact and create our world, rather than the unrelenting non-repeating story obscured by repition of patterns lead by repeating attention upon the patterns that follow the repeating Patterns. We follow our own tail, and though this deepens us in degree of expressing one thing that repeats through out itself, that even the most brilliant minds have only managed to move their attention to the greater swirls that move according to the attention that follows them, which has been moving according the forms it is trying to understand.

Samsara is the inability to deal with the whole, because by trying to understand the basic essence or building block, or foundation.. we do not see that the foundation is not the part but the whole, and the whole supports the parts. How shall we exist Samsara, I will tell you nirvana; is that sustained perception of unity that allows for joy in those who must find the highest realization on earth as a manner of being content from the silent watcher, allowing the sense of unconditional love to be brought into conditions.

But that, I denied nirvana; I denied bliss, because emotions alone have no meaning to me by themselves, as much as I enjoy highs and denied them, and even deeper enjoyed my lows and loath them.. that there is a way out, a door that doesn’t lead to just another room; but that room that allows one to breath. By following the wind of their own attention, not upon questioning the forms that repeat, and accepting the repeatable answers. But by following the intent that cannot be repeated, the notion of all a story which will never play out again, but will never play itself out; but also the unrepeatable intent that only continues where you choose to go. The first and most holy property of your perception, and the one thing that is a right of all sentient beings. Screw your human rights, I am talking about the undeniable, unless one denies themselves by choosing according to the collective intent and in the form of their own expression. When they should be choosing according to their own intent in the form of the collective expression.

We are designed by default to work together, in fact only are narrative convinces us anything is out of balance, and yet such knowledge does not change the circumstance that people feel and see things as not working together.. what is more powerful in this case? The mechanics or the spirit of the story?

I can point that we are all working together, but that does not change a single relationship that is already what it was, nor does it explain why things always working together would appear to work apart; and how can we make any real choice unless we know the purpose of such already design, and that we will never see it already a design until we begin understanding how we ourselves design it.

Sincerity as beauty–

The way of the world extends from beauty, the way of mind is awe; and every habit a star– in a world without comparison, the mundane is a created thing; the imperfect movement, of knowing what we want and experiencing it from the angle of not knowing why we wanted this– those ugly things, are those of stray beauty, the rebellion of the shadow; the scorned lover of incomprehension.

The way of beauty is sincerity, the sincerity of our context in form; and our feelings that arise. Because a natural quality of beauty, is when it is seen; it is recognized as right inherently. Who sees something beautiful and says such a thing is a fuck up? And so you see how our situation is, when we do not know what to do without knowledge of the situation..

The right choices for one self, is beauty. The way of the world is like a dream, we do need to know it to feel it is right– we can see the beautiful choices, and it is because the choice comes from the heart; the sincerity of who we are, naturally places it as something that doesn’t need rational explanation, but by which we veiled the heart with reason and so there is a reason for the heart.

The beauty of life, comes from the arrangement of patterns, but that the arrangement is arranged by that which we find beautiful. And the beauty I had found was so great that not even I could recognize all its beauty, and so there is this haunting of things; a lingering topic in the midst of all conversation. A strain of thought that veils the intimidating power of beauty, the authority we fear.. the freedom we fear.. the love we fear.. the ways we fear…

Fear itself is when the survival of beauty is threatened; when continuity in experience is threatened, beauty can only be veiled by confusion and ignorance of it; by not seeing the beautiful way which I when all ways of the river flow, and the dream is lucid yet who we are and our truth. Beauty provides faith, but that faith is the subtle beauty of one’s outlook, the specific light that guides the dark waters of our heart. And our heart is the displacement between minds, the misunderstandings of each other, the mistrust and absolute good reason for mistrust. To use the mind over the heart, because our minds make up the heart we share in spirit.