The struggle of coming to know this truth is eternal– You know, I am only going to deepen my heart from this angle; deepen the fact that I have to face who I am; but it is like forever virgin, no matter how much it deepens– Eons from now, I will still be coming to grips with who I am; but I will enjoy every bit of it, or every bit of it would be such a meaningful choice that I would never had made another–
Even when I reach the sort of; what could be translated; as full conditional self; I will still look at that full conditional self, with the awe as I have just come upon it; and deepen that awe, both in the direction of just coming upon it, and of always having had it–
And then I will struggle with you, about who you are to me; And in this you struggle with who you are, and what I am to you–
But it won’t be a struggle; it will be archetypal expressions of our heart of hearts, experienced in a polished way; a way that communicates what is between us, and allows us to experience exactly what we would truly want to between each other, except it will be that beauty that is just beyond the choice you could imagine you would choose; just beyond your grasp in your ability to think of it, and yet made of everything you have known to think of; an order just beyond your ability to imagine as possible– Just behind the veil; just enough to feel like its everything you have dreamed of, but twisted in such a magnificent way to accept it as a reality, and not just what you desire–
That is, I do not offer what you desire of me; I offer, a response to your desires; and in a response to your desires, do you see a clear language in your heart– a language that tilts and whirls; in the way I speak to your desires, which are done so clear cut and defined; that there is no question that the entire experience is speaking to you, because not only do you clearly see my response; but you see it pointed at the veins of your heart; that you can KNOW your heart in the environment and understand the way to move around that heart by the way I point to it–
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